The 'Woman Card’: Power Play or Just a Ploy?

It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write—work has been all-consuming, like trying to fit your life into a too-tight pair of jeans. But here I am, thanks to my overtime hustle, constantly proving my worth in a room full of people who don’t seem to notice. 

The other day, when I casually mentioned my exhaustion to a colleague, his response? "Why don’t you just play the woman card and get out of the extra work?"

I couldn’t help but wonder: since when did the "woman card" come with the luxury of skipping overtime? Isn’t it just basic human decency to not overwork someone? And yet, here it was—the infamous "woman card" being thrown at me like a get-out-of-jail-free card I didn’t ask for.

Every woman I know has heard it at least once: "Just play the woman card." But here’s the irony—this advice almost always comes from a man. Especially in the corporate world, where, if you dare to mention any issue you’re facing—be it stress, workload, or unfair treatment—you’re likely to hear, "Just play the woman card."

But let’s get real. What does "playing the woman card" even mean from a man’s perspective?

It’s a quick escape, like slipping out the back door of a party without saying goodbye.

It’s a silent "threat" they think we can use to make others back off.

It’s seen as the easiest, least complicated way to get what we want—no fuss, no muss. (Oh, how I wish it were that simple.)

It’s their idea of a "smart move" to navigate challenges without getting pushback.

But here’s the kicker: how often do we, as women, actually get to "play" this magical card?

Spoiler alert: not as often as you might think. If the woman card really held so much power, do you think we’d be burning the midnight oil in the office, debugging code that refuses to cooperate? Or heading back to work right after having a baby? Or working through the aches of a menstrual cycle while pretending we feel fine?

The truth is, life isn’t nearly as glamorous as men seem to believe when they toss out the idea of the woman card. If it were that easy, we’d all be walking around with free passes, and nobody would ever be stuck in the trenches.

So next time a woman tells you she’s struggling, don’t jump to suggest the "woman card." Instead, ask yourself: is there really a card to be played, or is this just a situation where empathy and understanding are needed? Maybe it’s not about escaping the game—it’s about changing how we play it altogether.

Thanks for reading!

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