I couldn't help but wonder, when did being single become something that needed to be fixed? In a world where everyone seems to be pairing off, it’s easy to feel like being single is a problem to be solved, a state of existence waiting for its expiration date. But what if it isn’t? What if, instead of being broken or incomplete, being single is simply… being?
It’s funny how friends, once they’re committed, seem to forget what it’s like on this side. They become relationship experts, doling out advice as if love comes with a step-by-step guide. But how much of that advice really comes from a place of understanding? And how much of it is just them projecting their own happily-ever-after onto your life?
Are Your Friends Really Your Monica or Rachel?
One of the most fascinating and frankly, annoying things about being single is how your committed friends make you feel. Is your bestie really your Monica or Rachel? Does your friend group *actually* have the supportive, understanding dynamic you see in *Sex and the City*?
Being single comes with its own set of pros and cons. And spoiler alert: No one hands you a manual titled "The Acts That Will Keep You Single Forever." As women, we’re often conditioned to crave that fairytale ending, to settle down with the love of our lives. But let's be real—how many of our committed friends *really* get it?
Let me paint you a picture with some of the gems I've heard along the way, which may or may not have made sense at the time.
1. The “She’s Doomed” Comment
You’re out with a group of friends, and the conversation turns to dating. Someone casually says, “Oh, her? Don’t ask. Dating just isn’t for her. She’s probably going to die alone… haha.”
Sure, I’ve joked about dying alone—who hasn’t? But hearing it tossed around in a group of "not-so-close" people? Is that really the time to throw in a comment like that? Spoiler: It’s not.
2. The “Just Give Up” Advice
"Why don’t you just give up on dating and marry someone your parents choose? Dating clearly isn’t working for you."
Ouch. This one stings because it usually comes from someone you thought knew you better. Isn’t this friend aware of everything you’ve been through in your dating life? If they’re truly concerned about you getting hurt again, aren’t there more thoughtful ways to show it without cutting so deep?
3. The “Are You Sure You Want to Date?” Question
"Do you really want to date someone after everything that’s happened?"
Honestly, what I want to ask is: If I get hurt again, will you still be there to support me? The fear of rejection and betrayal lingers long after a bad relationship. Isn’t a *true* friend supposed to stand by you through those tough times? Or is that asking too much?
These are just my top three examples of things I’ve heard and, sadly, come to expect. As single women, we’ve mastered the art of brushing off the unsolicited advice and veiled concerns with a polite, “Haha, yeah!”
But to all my single ladies out there, whether you’re thriving or just surviving—you don’t need to wait for Prince Charming to make your life feel complete. What you *do* deserve is a friend who’s your Samantha Jones, someone who sets a new standard for friendship.
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